i dropped my cell phone in the bathtub so call my landline or PM me or email me in that order

and if i get stuck in a train station next saturday night again and have to go #numberone it’s going to get ugly and slippery and i might just go to bestbuy first and explain it and do the demonstration of how uglyuglyugly it can be to have

and if #bestbuy doesn’t call me back like they said they would it’s going to be #uglyuglyugly.

spill in electronics aisle

and we’ll deal with wordpress and block editing after I call my primary care physician and explain my feelings about these and a few other items I am not obligated to share, OKAY? Is that alright? I trust the guy. He doesn’t have a website, and he’s a fisherman.

Bill Purkins has hats.


comedy political social satire

thebillpurkins on twitter

billpurkins on facebook

billpurkins on linkedin



mr. brown on krapchat.com (must be 18 or over and act like a 2 year old)

***** **** on ***************** (ask bill)