… and when the little red hen was all done baking the bread, she took it out of the oven and put it on the table to cool. The poor little red hen was exhausted. She asked “Who will help me eat the bread?”
All of the animals in the barnyard chimed in and said, “I will!”
The Little Red Hen had had enough, but before she could put her fair weather friends in their place, along came the farmer and he grabbed her by the neck, gave a sharp twist with his powerful hands and throttled her into limp lifelessness.
“Hot damn,” he said. “Fried chicken and fresh baked corn bread!”
Has your numeric keypad stopped working after installing windows 10?
That’s because Microsoft sucks. Here’s how to fix it without 800 pop up ads and redirects trying to get you to buy something.
1. go to CONTROL PANEL
2. control panel, ease of access, ease of access center, make the keyboard easier to use,
3. uncheck the turn on mouse keys box,
4. make sure the NUMLOCK key in the upper left of your numeric 10 pad is checked.
5. click OK.
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so I’m in the market for a butterfly costume. not Halloween or anything like that, and not a fancy dress party as they would call it in Australia. Been to Australia three times, really like the place, people are just so nice, open and friendly, not like Americans, we truly are a bunch of dickheads. I remember being invited to a party and was told that it was fancy dress. I said oh I only packed one dark suit. Heh. fancy dress it turned out meant it was a costume party. And in Autralia a costume party means you get a costume, not the crap like we throw together on Halloween, these people go to costume shops to rent Marie Antoinette dresses and Cleopatra outfits and swashbuckling pirate gear, it’s like a glam metal show. Well I didn’t know that. I went to a drug store and got a pair of yellow leotards pink panties and a yellow long sleeve stretchy shirt, and went as a human pencil. I had to explain what I was to everyone of course because they hadn’t a clue, and I got a kick out of, I’m a pencil? Why the pink panties? That’s my Eraser.. want to chew it? They liked that. but today I wish I could find a butterfly costume, and this way I could flutter My Wings in the great spirit of Chaos Theory… and hopefully millions of years from now something good would happen, cuz as hard as I try lately, I can’t make anybody happy. And I’m tired of trying.
Yeah, I shouldn’t have ketchup, I shouldn’t have butter on the toast, I certainly shouldn’t have bacon and I probably shouldn’t have an egg, maybe just an egg white. So picture a piece of dry whole wheat toast next to an egg white. Then? Shove it.
some people wanna live forever. this requires longevity, you realize. now if this seems like the way you want to go, the best way that i have found to extend your life is to hang around some old people. watch ’em. it’s painful sometimes, and you spend enough time around them you might change your mind about wanting to live forever, but if you don’t change your mind, you pick up some tips on taking care of yourself based on your current age. kinda like a clint eastwood dirty harry a man’s gotta know his limitations philosophy if you understand. for example, take a look at the people who die young. a lot of ’em had parents and grandparents who died young. now some of that can be hard wired in your genes, which no one likes to hear in a politically correct world under the name of labeling.
The nearest Black Hole to the Planet Earth is V4641 Sgr. Located in the Sagittarius arm of the Milky Way it was discovered in 1999. It is 1600 light years from Earth.
Got a problem? Scream at the top of your lungs in the direction of V4641 Sgr. By the time your yell gets there, we’ll all be dead, but you will have had the satisfaction of knowing that the very last remnant of your cosmic footstep will someday be sucked into nothingness by the all devouring pinpoint of an empty singularity.
Hoping for wardrobe accidents in Women’s World Cup Soccer 2016? SO are we. Our top choice? ERIKA DOS SANTOS, Brazil. How about you?