I remember when same sex marriage meant…

:::sigh::: those were the days… warning: this link may contain images and or words that… 

#whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins #whothehellisbillpurkins

I remember when same sex marriage meant every Thursday night after Bowling League and Chinese Take Out.

Mr. Obama, TEAR DOWN that health care system… the Beef Jerky Diaries, Part I of II…

4 January, 2017… Long Island… NY…

I’m making beef jerky… it’s a slow, deliberate process, interesting at times, smells GREAT when mixing the marinade, hands ache with the cold when slicing the London Broil into 1/4 inch strips, but a wonderful investment in time and down home DIY for a guy who just retired early at 62 and awaits his first Social Security direct bank deposit next month. Life is full of little big freight train hurdling down a mountain with the engineer slumped over incidents lately, ole Casey with an arrow in his back, or maybe a bullet hole, and a gold or payroll robbery going on in the parlor cars.

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I don’t know. Casey Jones I’m not, though I do suddenly want to hear Johnny Cash’s version of the wreck of the Old ’97. I relate more to poor old Steve.

For background mumbo jumbo, Fox News blares from the den, across the kitchen and into the dining room, where this desk is, also where I mixed the beef jerky ingredients and sliced the beef. That’s all done and now soaking in a triple lined for security marinade for 24 hours.

The news, I suddenly notice has taken on a beefy slaughter tone of its own. Just as I take my heaviest cleaver and skillfully sever 1/4 inch strips of raw flesh off the shrinking end of London Broil number 1 and then London Broil Number 2 until a pile of bloody meat ingots lay in the aluminum roasting pan I am using as a staging area, I am listening to what I realize is a similar gory sort of process unfolding before the American people in Washington DC, that being the dismantling of Obamacare, the very legacy of President Barack Obama’s entire claim to fame, should he wind up with one at all, but as it’s going today,
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it looks like he’s headed for a quiet place next to Jimmy Carter at this rate.

Now, I don’t know if Obamacare is as bad as it appears to have proven to be. I tried to read it when it was published originally and people laughed at me for attempting to tackle
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the 1200 page behemoth plop factor cut and paste disgrace that was signed into law without ANYONE running their eyes over each and every page with any level of comprehension.

I may be 62, but I’m still intensely idealistic, naive and gullible.

What I find ironic, frightening, even spooky, is the similarity that today’s posturing and sound byte photo op camera grabbing power struggle by both parties to stab each other for maximum wound damage has to not all that many years ago when the statue of Saddam Hussein was toppled in the bloody dusty streets of Baghdad. It took all day. People danced, spit, slapped it with their shoes, apparently an ultimate insult in that region of the world, or was that the body of the REAL subject of the statue some years later? Hmmm. Maybe both.


It’s political porn, really.

I have cleaned up my beef jerky mess, and the body is hidden in the refrigerator for 24 hours of marinating. Tomorrow at this time I will hang each fleshy strip skewered by a toothpick from the oven rack and dry it all out at 175 degrees Fahrenheit, all the life juices dripping into a couple of those big aluminum pans to catch the blood and Tabasco.

I like Beef Jerky, and they say it’s even somewhat of a healthy snack. DIY do it yourself saves money, and no preservatives and all natural ingredients make it even healthier, plus money will be saved.

They hope to accomplish similar results for a nation divided by tearing Obamacare out by the roots and replacing it with something healthier, cheaper, more palatable even.

Good luck America, I love you, and I sure as hell need you healthy. Too bad politics and lawmaking aren’t as cut and dried as making beef jerky.

Be back tomorrow, for part II on the beef jerky. For now,

Hugs and fishes,

15:01 pm Eastern Time, Long Island, NY…
Bill Purkins
fake

long island man stumbles upon the PERFECT pizza amazing exclusive photo

The PERFECT PIZZA? How can it be? We Americans are very picky about our pizza, and everyone has a unique idea of what their idea of perfection is.

Yet, one Long Island man, Bill Purkins, a self admitted incompetent and newcomer to the pizza making arena, claims to have created the PERFECT pizza, and he is willing to share it woth the world.

His process, which is based in inexact science, trial, error and careless inexperience, allows him to create a pizza with a graduating variety of crust styles by its very nature guaranteed to fit the preference of nearly everyone. You like a thin crust? Deep dish? Sicilian style? Or anything in between? Chances are that you will get that in each and every slice. How do we do it? Let’s look at a sample slice and the sheer genius will jump right out and stab you in the retina like a an ice pick dipped in lemon juice.

The Purkins Pizza, genius? Or shoddy incompetence? YOU decide.
The Purkins Pizza, genius? Or shoddy incompetence? YOU decide.

This incredible unedited photo was taken in a kitchen on Long Island, in NY, by its creator, grandfather, empty nest Mr. Mom, fisherman, musician,  retired computer programmer, satirist, writer and social media and life coach Bill Purkins,  who reveals his secret here:

Simple. I suck at making pizza. One, I’m lazy, and I give up easy. Rolling out pizza dough is a bitch, so by the time I get done with it, it’s a semi-flat terrain of varied thicknesses and textures, anywhere from bar pie wafer thinness to deep dish archaeological dig depths. Everybody wins.

Confronted by one critic who said,

“That’s stupid.”

Purkins responded,

“So?”

We agree. Hard to argue with blunt dumb.

grocery shopping for 795 million people on 37 cents a day?


How many people are hungry in the world?


Some 795 million people in the world do not have enough food to lead a healthy active life. That’s about one in nine people on earth. The vast majority of the world’s hungry people live in developing countries, where 12.9 percent of the population is undernourished.

I read that today and cried.

What is spent on nuclear weapons?
As hundreds of millions of people across the globe go hungry, the nuclear-armed nations spend close to US$300 million a day on their nuclear forces.

I read that and laughed.

I know it’s unrealistic, even naive, to imagine spending that Thirty Seven cents a day on food to save 11% of the world, but I bet I could do it. You buy the large sizes you’d be amazed what you can save. Coupons, store membersips, points back if you use that “What’s in YOUR wallet card,” I mean, you buy rice by the hundred metric ton you’re down to 2 cents a serving. Beans, lentils, believe me, I’ve fantasized about this for years.

Get these people healthy, put ’em to work, make consumers out of them, a credit rating, ATM cards, the world economy would be booming.

Not a chance, damnit.

Trump says “grab em by the p*” … Rosie DOES that onstage…

Trump says “grab em by the p*…”

Rosie DOES that onstage…

I’m confused.

Why aren’t these two best buddies?

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Can’t we all just get along?

Grabbing a whole lotta Rosie! O’Donnell clasps her crotch as she hams it up for the crowd at Boy George concert

She has never been noted for her demure, ladylike behaviour.

So perhaps it should be no surprise Rosie O’Donnell decided to grab her crotch as she hammed it up for the crowd while appearing on stage at a Boy George concert in New York on Wednesday.

The self-styled comedienne looked like she was lost in the moment as she fondled herself while delivering some of her trademark caustic one-liners at the show, which also featured 80s popstrel Cyndi Lauper.  Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3610112/Rosie-O-Donnell-clasps-crotch-hams-Boy-George-concert.html#ixzz4UjLy7ndj

how to fix the world, really

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Alright now, follow closely because this is so cool I’m amazed it hasn’t already been implemented. There’s 24 hours in a day, right? That’s rhetorical, of course…

So, we make it 25. And in the 25th hour, we take time out to explain to everyone we’ve confused or offended or pissed off that day that we’re sorry or we were constipated or temporarily insane or whacked out on some wild street drug manic crazed acting out shit, whatever. And we could all kiss and hug or have make up sex or sing some fruity campfire song or promise to cut that shit out even though it won’t make a pigeon fart of a difference just think how good it’d make us all feel. Especially the make up sex part.

Heh? Pretty cool, huh?

elwood come over my house for some toast

don’t throw out that toaster yet, but we ARE getting closer to toaster independence… watch these incredible exclusive videos of making toast in bed with the heat from a tea candle…


here’s the players…

1. tea candle holding cast iron trivet
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2. tea candle
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3. cast iron skillet 3.5 inch diameter
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4. magic fire stick to light candle
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5. place candle in holder triver and light it
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6. place cast iron skillet upside down over flame
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7. lay a piece of white bread on that sucker
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8. after ditching the skillet, try to toast it
holding bread over flame. move it around
good so it doesn’t burn.
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9. sort of success side 1 of toast
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10. equal sort of okay, side 2
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11. like  candle in the wind, poof.
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okay. needs work.

total elapsed time, about 45 minutes.

but? GENUINE, dry white toast…

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-30-

XXX

3D bug eyes make your own luck

new years day dinner all my life has always been ham, greens and black eyed peas. my daddy’s from texas, nuf said.

well, this year, people must be down on their luck and damned if no black eyed peas to be found, new years eve nor day.

black eyed peas for good luck of course…

after some despair i figured, the hell, i boiled some dried lima beans and some dried black beans and declared, we tried, so put a black bean on each lima bean and you got 3D bugaboo spooky eyes, DIY do it your ownself blackbeye peas.

damn right… sometimes you gotta make your own luck. a little basil, parsely, swig of soy sauce, mustard powder and a squirt of honey and GREAT GOOGLY MOOGLY!!!

i think i invented a new tradition. gotta adapt, folks… roll with the tide and ride with the flow baby…

damn good they were, too.