long island man stumbles upon the PERFECT pizza amazing exclusive photo

The PERFECT PIZZA? How can it be? We Americans are very picky about our pizza, and everyone has a unique idea of what their idea of perfection is.

Yet, one Long Island man, Bill Purkins, a self admitted incompetent and newcomer to the pizza making arena, claims to have created the PERFECT pizza, and he is willing to share it woth the world.

His process, which is based in inexact science, trial, error and careless inexperience, allows him to create a pizza with a graduating variety of crust styles by its very nature guaranteed to fit the preference of nearly everyone. You like a thin crust? Deep dish? Sicilian style? Or anything in between? Chances are that you will get that in each and every slice. How do we do it? Let’s look at a sample slice and the sheer genius will jump right out and stab you in the retina like a an ice pick dipped in lemon juice.

The Purkins Pizza, genius? Or shoddy incompetence? YOU decide.
The Purkins Pizza, genius? Or shoddy incompetence? YOU decide.

This incredible unedited photo was taken in a kitchen on Long Island, in NY, by its creator, grandfather, empty nest Mr. Mom, fisherman, musician,  retired computer programmer, satirist, writer and social media and life coach Bill Purkins,  who reveals his secret here:

Simple. I suck at making pizza. One, I’m lazy, and I give up easy. Rolling out pizza dough is a bitch, so by the time I get done with it, it’s a semi-flat terrain of varied thicknesses and textures, anywhere from bar pie wafer thinness to deep dish archaeological dig depths. Everybody wins.

Confronted by one critic who said,

“That’s stupid.”

Purkins responded,


We agree. Hard to argue with blunt dumb.

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