How to get the house clean enough to have people over

Being alone for a number of years and also being a king hell slob, sort of an anti-Feng Shui, poster boy for entropy even… I’ve learned the hard way, and now I share with you, in the hopes that you not suffer as long or as deeply as have I.

We all know the easy ones. You know, go broke and soon you have no one who wants to see you anyway. That always works.

On a real note, if you’re as sedentary as I am you likely spend a shitload of time at your desk, fucking around with the computer or just typing, oh, sorry…

KEYBOARDING they call it now. Ass monkeys.

Back to topic, just look in front of you and there’s probably a bunch of shit you can just throw out.  I keep huge wastebaskets to both my left and right, and they plenty of action.

Don’t attempt to attack the whole joint at once. Try just straightening up six feet around you in all  directions. It hurts at first but you get good at it and all of a sudden it starts to make the rest of the place look even MORE like shit. That, folks is progress.

If you have no shame and the contrast doesn’t bother you? Well, you can move your desk 12 feet and start over… But go ahead and consider that, how stupid and even physically challenging, even dangerous that would be, Plus, if you tend to wander around in the dark at night, off to take a leak, a couple of broken toes and splintered shins later will convince you you really are an idiot.

Try the above and let me know how it works out.


I get anyone who reads this far and gets back to me, consider this as,

to be continued…


Leave a Reply